Proof That Dave Karofsky Is Actually In The Closet
by GeniaTheParadox
Summary: The title kind of speaks for itself. Just a funny and very nearly almost smutty one-shot that will have you looking at Karofsky a little differently from now on.


I know this pairing sounds kind of... well, _sick and wrong._ But it's only a one-shot so just go with it.

This is based on the study that I learnt in Psychology that said that people who were the most homophobic were actually gay themselves and couldnt accept it.

Anyways, review like crazy, Humble Readers. I really want to know what people think of this.

Oh, and obviously I don't own Glee or any of it's characters. That would be ridiculous. Awesome, but ridiculous.

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**Proof That Dave Karofsky Is Actually In The Closet**

The last bell had rung, school was over and the halls were gradually emptying. Dave Karofsky was making his way out when he noticed none other than the school flamer, Kurt Hummel standing at his locker, fixing his hair in the mirror on his locker door. Dave smirked as he zoned in on his prey. It may have been the end of the day, but that just meant that he was less likely to get into trouble for whaling on the little fairy. He might as well have some fun before he went home.

"Hey, Hummel!" he called down the empty hall.

Dave noticed him tense up and roll his eyes, before shutting his locker and slowly turning around.

"Can I help you, Karofsky?" he said in that usual snarky tone, arching an eyebrow.

Dave shoved the smaller boy into the lockers without saying a word, a wide and rather evil grin on his face.

"Oh," said Kurt, not even sounding shocked. "So you've come to beat me up for no reason again. Okay."

"Do I really need a reason?" Dave sneered. "You've been walking around like you own the place ever since you joined the Cheerios, but just because you're in that uniform doesn't mean that suddenly you're not a faggy little loser anymore."

Kurt rolled his eyes, looked utterly bored. "Can we cut the crap please?"

"What?" said Dave, narrowing his eyes.

"Look, I get it, okay?" said Kurt. "I understand your situation."

"What situation? What the hell are you talking about?" Dave felt beyond confused.

The baby-faced soprano sighed, rolling his eyes as if he was trying to explain quantum physics to a toddler.

"I know why you're always mercilessly picking on me," said Kurt, smoothing down his Cheerios uniform. "And it's not because you're a bigoted asshole like I first assumed."

He folded his arms and smirked before he simply said "You want to tap this."

Dave did a double take, making sure he heard right. "Wait – what?"

"It's obvious," said Kurt. "It's a well known fact that individuals that are the most homophobic are usually just in denial about their own sexuality. It's been scientifically proven."

"So what, you're saying that me kicking the crap out of you is just because I'm secretly queer?" said Dave, trying not to laugh.

"That's exactly what I'm saying," Kurt replied seriously, wiping the smile off of Dave's face. "Your horrible bullying behaviour is just your backward way of dealing with the desire you secretly harbour for me."

Dave wasn't even sure what to say to that. He stood there, gapping like a goldfish.

Kurt smirked. "It isn't that surprising, to be honest. I mean, why wouldn't you want to get all up on this? Karofsky, your crush on me is strangely adorable but, as much as I like jocks, you're really not my type."

"I don't... I mean, I..." Dave stuttered. He wasn't sure, but he actually felt a little bit... _disappointed? _

Kurt stepped closer to the perplexed jock, his lips curved into the evilest smirk that Dave had ever seen.

"You don't seem too pleased by my rejection," Kurt said, looking at the bully flirtatiously. "Which is understandable. But I suppose, just this once, if no one were to find out about it... it wouldn't be _so_ bad to fulfil your burning wish to get into my pants."

"R-really?" Dave wasn't quite sure why this made him so happy.

"Why not?" Kurt practically purred, resting his hands on the larger boy's chest. "Don't question it, Karofsky. You want me, and I'm giving you an opportunity to have me. Now are you just going to stand there gawking like a retard, or are you going to do something about the steadily growing boner in your pants?"

Before Dave really knew what was happening, Kurt's soft lips were attached to his. And he didn't really mind. Now, Dave always knew that he was straight. It was obvious. He liked girls and that was the end of it. Being queer was just wrong. The idea of doing anything with another guy made him want to barf. But at that moment, kissing Kurt Hummel in the middle of the deserted corridor, he couldn't think of anything hotter than making out with another dude.

He pinned Kurt to the lockers as they attacked each other's mouths, their tongues battling for control as he felt soft hands sliding under his shirt. His own hands roamed all over the small singer's slender body, surprised at how toned his stomach was and how muscular his arms were. Eventually his hands found their way to Kurt's ass (which looked amazing in that Cheerios uniform, he thought), squeezing before lifting him up against the locker so that strong legs were now wrapped around Dave's waist. He stopped ravishing the male cheerleader's mouth and began to kiss, bite and suck on his neck as their crouches rubbed together, making them both moan in pleasure. As they continued to dry-hump each other, Kurt suddenly giggled quietly, whispering into Dave's ear "I told you so. I always knew you were gay."

And that's when Dave woke up with a start. He was breathing heavily, his bed sheets sticking to him from the sweat, as well as from... something else.

No way had he had _that_ kind of dream about a guy. Especially about _Kurt freaking Hummel!_ That was just wrong! He wasn't a fag! He should be having dirty dreams about chicks! He shouldn't be getting all hot and bothered over a dude, even if that dude was as flamingly girly as Hummel!

Dave buried his head in his hands, before getting up to take a cold shower and change his underwear. He kept telling himself that it was just a stupid dream and it didn't mean anything. He wasn't gay. That was impossible. So why did he keep on thinking about how hot Hummel looked in that Cheerios uniform?

Dave Karofsky had to face facts. He was clearly going insane.

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Hope you all enjoyed the maddness that is Karofsky/Kurt, Humble Readers!

If you did, or even if you didn't, _tell me so _in the form of a review. I like reviews, they make me happy :)

xxx


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